I’ve been fretting and worrying. About my son. Who’s not well. It’s as if fretting and worrying can work some kind of magic. The problem is that I don’t know what to do to make things right. I feel helpless. Powerless. I chase my tail.
So I went swimming at my little community pool. There were a few others there doing their laps. Mostly retired folks. I have my routine: lazy warm-up, back stroke, float board, water exercises. Three sets.
While I was doing my back stroke I looked up at the clouds. It was a peaceful sky. Bright blue with lots of cumulus and a few stormy-looking ones out on the edges and wispy cirrus in the background. They were drifting, just drifting. A bird flew through, way up high, slowly. Little more than a speck with wings.
When I was done swimming I laid out by the pool to dry off and looked up at the clouds some more. They were still drifting. I just gazed as I lay there in the sun, relaxing. Letting the clouds into me. Drifting with them.
It helped. When I got home I wasn’t fretting so much and I figured out some things, took some action to feel less helpless. But not frantically. At the pace of the clouds.