The other day I went through an automatic car wash for the first time ever. I was a little apprehensive when I saw the long list of instructions; anything over two I have trouble with. But I’d already paid my three dollars and wasn’t about to back out.
I punched in my five-digit number correctly, pulled in my side view mirrors, sucked down the antenna and battened the hatches. Now all I had to do was drive in slowly until I felt the wheels “drop” (surely I’d notice something like that?), put the car in park or neutral and put on the emergency brake.
I drove in slowly, and sure enough, felt the wheels drop. Suddenly I was assaulted by sheets of very noisy water. No problem. Water is to be expected in a car wash. Then suddenly the car started moving forward. God– had I put on the emergency brakes? No! I yanked them on, but still the car moved. Maybe it was supposed to. The noise was deafening. All of a sudden the battering water stopped and huge blue, shaggy things came at me. I had definitely gotten my three dollar’s worth and was ready to call it quits, but the big blue things were still attacking.
Finally they retreated, I heard a hissing sound, and saw that I was being sprayed back and forth. As soon as I got used to being sprayed, a flashing green light told me to drive slowly through some hanging appendage that looked like it could knock the heck out of my windshield. I drove through at 1 mph, then made a break for it.
As I headed for home, I decided I ought to do this again next week!